Soul connection…

I would like to reflect on attachment theory of Bowlby during my childhood memories. 

According to Bowlby Attachment is important on physical, emotional and social development of a child. So if we have strong attachment with our mother and father we would have a strong bonds would shows to have a good relationship with our family and further attachment towards others connect to other.

When I was little my mother and I would go on a trip, she would leave me and tell the conductor that she just need to buy something and that she will be back in a little while. I was so very nervous back then, I have a panic and anxiety attack whenever the driver would ask me where’s my mother was. I just hate my mom leaving me with a total stranger, I am so scared. Even for a short span of time I feel like I have a separation anxiety back then. Sign of relief when I see my mother on my peripheral view, I am so happy and feel secured again.

At 7 years old, my parents decided that I will be studying in Baguio and will be staying with my grandmother. Again the feeling of being away makes me feel sad since that is the first time that I will be away from my parents. I often go outside the house my grandmas house and cry all day long waiting for my father to go back. After two weeks my father visit me and I am so happy but the sad part is whenever he goes back to La Union. New situation of me being away with my siblings and parents made me feel that I still have a family  because my father would visit me once every month. It took me awhile to adjust to my new environment and the people around me. I get connected with my grandmother and I feel that I am emotionally secure with her because she has been there for me to provide the things that I need. We were reunited with my parents a year after, when my father was fully established in Baguio. I don’t remember having hurt feelings from my parents because they let me stay with my grandmother, I think I am still blessed because despite the absence of parents someone like my grandmother has given me the love, care and security. Where I am today makes me think that I am strong person and have a strong emotional attachment with my parents and strong connection with my friends. And I can say that my relationship with my bf was grown stronger because of the strong attachment I received from my family. In my personal point of view regarding Theory of Bowlby’s statement that “what happens to you in the first year or two of life has an effect, yes it does have an effect but it really depends on the culture or how you take things positively.

Image resource: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201403/early-attachment-leaving-its-mark-across-the-lifespan